It's ok to believe in LOVE again... =')

"Don’t worry about tomorrow,

Don’t think about yesterday

And don’t live in the future...

Just make it through this day!"

After so many heartaches trusting and loving someone, especially a stranger, may seem impossible. But we have to learn that not because we were hurt before, we will be hurt again. It may not work in past but it doesn't mean that it will never be. Heart being broken will not happen once, but a lot. That is part of growing up and it will make us stronger. It will help us be better the next time and one way to find our one true love.

Seems I was locked up in the walls I built to protect my heart from being broken again. I have been playing safe not to fall and fake a smile to face the crowd but my eyes never lie. I wanna try it again but I was afraid that I will end up being hurt and thinking that I have to go through all the pain, being hopeless and clueless what to do next. I was just afraid to see myself stumble and lost again.

Opening door to someone is easy but letting him enter into your life could be the hardest. Being hurt all over again is the risk you should be willing to take. Holding on to your past is the part you have to completely let go. Being pessimistic and worrying what will happen next won’t help. This time I know, I have to trust him, believe once again and give chance this stranger.

There will be no guarantee that I will not cry or assurance that it will work out right but whatever will be, I won’t let this pass in front of me without giving a shot. It is time to let go of the past and worry not of the fall down. It’s now time to move on without a fear of how it might end... This time, I am ready... TO BELIEVE IN LOVE AGAIN!

Right Next To You

Stranger....

“Suddenly I feel happy and you may just be the reason for this...”

There is this Bisaya who never fail to make me smile.... He’s my friend’s brother who just came from Philippines. I know nothing about him aside from his name, of course. Before he came in UAE, his sister keeps on telling stories about him, easy go lucky man who knows nothing but “GALA” and “BARKADAs”. Being “ChikBoy” is one of his pastimes and no direction in life, In Short... “paxaway”... LOL...

He doesn’t talk in front of my friends and he’s literally, Stranger! Although he’s good in chatting, my constant chat mate... Never a day passed without any Hi or Hellos from him, thanks to FaceBook! Hahaha...

It all started with “Pusssiiittt...” 09 December 2011.

One fine midnight after our Christmas party, he was the only one awake and I, being so bored and not yet sleepy, pm him with... “Pusssiiittt...” He replied and conversation started there. Since we know nothing about each other, we just talked anything under the sun... “kung ano ano lang...” We even end up talking about Fortune teller, Madaam Auring... Never will I forget the lines he told me while doing “hula”; “Next year magbibirthday ka July 14, tama? Tapos... may makilala kang isang tao. 25° 8’47.49″N, 55°50’21.77E″, yan yung coordinates ng location nya ngaun...hahaha” I had no idea that those coordinates he gave was his exact location that night, through Google Earth. Funny isn’t it?

As day goes by, we were continuously chatting every night, talking about nothing in particular. Sometimes, we talk about our “exes” or dreams, anything and everything... He was the one who even gave hope to me and told me that “He still loves you... He loves you and I don’t know for what reason, but maybe he’s just not ready yet!”  Since then, we became friends and feel comfortable talking with each other... Opppsss... rather “chatting”... He still doesn’t talk in front of my friends and we remain strangers in their eyes.

But one day our communication stopped as he has to leave the country for days. When he got back, we were not same as before. Although he never stopped sending messages but I became busy and found no time talking to him. Then we became part of Basketball League and every Friday we had chance to see each other. He had this way to get my number by saying, “Someone was asking your number” and I just simply answered, “Did you give?” knowing that he doesn’t have my number. He said, “Kaya nga di ko maibigay kasi I don’t have your number, ano ngang number mo?” I know it was just one of those cheesy lines but somehow, it felt crazy with kilig! Hahaha...

I don’t know where it would lead us but I was so afraid to take chance. I was so afraid to get close to him because I was afraid he will leave like everyone else I have ever gotten close to...

Lost...

Starting over is the hardest part of life, you don’t know what to do and where to go.

I tried all the possible ways to go through it all and tried to stand still and walk. Pretending that I am ok was the only comfort I had. Fake smile was the only mask that helped me to face the crowd. Everyone was happy for me, thinking that I am alright. I went to every possible place I could find myself again. Avoided some friends who saw me stumbled and fall just to forget. Had new set of friends who know nothing about me and spent time with stranger who brought back the real smile on my face.

I had no idea where my feet would bring me but sometimes being clueless makes the journey worthy. I never imagined that I will be in this situation that even it was not as planned but still, the REAL happiness and contentment in life is right in front of me. The blurry future is now as clear as crystal and all the hopes, prayers and wishes came true.

So don’t lose hope because in every Rain, Rainbow is formed and in every Storm, Sun shines bright! 

Life goes on...

"Regardless of how it goes down, Life goes on..." – Rick Ross

No matter what life brings you, never give up. In life, there are always ups and downs and not everything is going to go as planned. Not everything is going to work out the way you want it to. Many times it will pull you down and hits you hard, but you have to be strong, have faith and believe that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it's meant to be.

It isn't SIMPLE...

"Life isn’t simple. But the beauty of it is, YOU can always start over. It’ll get easier." – Alacia Bessette

It is really true, life is not a simple journey but whatever it takes, you can always start over. I have been in difficult situations, at work, family, friends and love, which I never thought I would go through it all… all over again… and again… and again… I have stopped believing that somewhere along the way, there is really something better for me… someone I deserve…

I always find myself stuck in a situation of holding back or letting go, always afraid of consequences or surprises along the way. And whenever I am in the middle of confusion, I just convince myself, “If it is not meant for you… it will never will…” then go with the flow…

Somehow, I learn to cope up with things and dance in the rain. You don’t really have to struggle to cross the road during rainy season without being wet. All you have to do is learn to enjoy every drop and dance with it.

Alaala ng nakaraan... -20.09.10-

Sadyang Kay bilis ng panahon...
Isang taon na ang nakalipas...
Ang araw na Hindi ko inakalang darating sa buhay natin...
Ang araw na ni sa hinagap Hindi ko naisip na mangyayare sa'tin...

Subalit, dumating...
Oras ng pamamaalam na Hindi ko man Lang inasahan...
Buong pangarap ko'y naglaho...
Mundo'y parang gumuho... Hangi'y parang naubos...
Oras biglang huminto...

Sakit na nadamay ikinubli sa puso...
Pilit pinagtakpan katotohanan sa harapan...
Kahit anong gawin pilit na di paniwalaan at
Mas sinubukang mabuhay sa nakaraan...

Subalit ano mang kubli... Katotohana'y di maitatanggi...
Ikaw ay wala na... Tayo ay tapos na...
Pait na nadarama'y binaon at pilit kinalimutan
Salamat sa mga kaibigan na Hindi ako iniwan...

Isang taon ang nakalipas ngunit nadarama'y di maipagkakaila...
Iba ng ikaw ang nawala... Mundo ko'y sobrang nangulila...
Hindi ko maitatanngi, pagsisisi'y nasa huli...
Kung nagawa ko Lang ipaglaban
Siguro'y iba ang naging kapalaran...

Ngunit sadyang may mga bagay,
Kung di laa'y di rin ibibigay...
Baka sadyang di ikaw ang bigay sa'kin ng Maykapal...

Sa pag lipas ng panahon, natutong tanggapin ang katotohanan...
Na ikaw ay wala na... At Hindi na babalik pa...

Hangad ko ang kaligayahan
At tagumpay na para sa'yo...
Nawa'y patuloy kang subaybayan at pagpalain ng Maykapal...

Maraming salamat sa mga itinuro mo, aral ng buhay sayo'y madaming natutunan...
Maraming salamat sa pagmamahal na walang katulad...
Nawa ako'y mapatawad sa sakit na nadulot ko sa nakaraan...

Salamat sa lahat...
Ang maging bahagi ka ng buhay ko,
Kailan ma'y hinding-Hindi ko pagsisisihan...

August 11, 2011
00:38 AM

there is YOU, there is ME... but there is really no "US"

It's been awhile and been thinking about it for quite sometime,

I don't know if it's really the right time rather if it is really the right thing to do...

but I guess I've to make up my mind...

It's been 3 months... of waiting, heartache, chasing, sadness, crying and a never ending story... 

Every time I choose to step forward you're doing something to pull me back...

But you don't have the courage to speak out, to tell me the truth or whatever is in your heart...

I don't know for what you are afraid of and can't understand how you want it to be... 

I don't even know what to think and what to believe...

You make me feel missed and loved but you can't utter the words and let it out...

Enough with this childish thing, we are not young to play this game...

I will let the fate work for us coz it will never be if it is not willed by God...

Maybe it's just really not for us or maybe "still" not the right time...

But whatever it is, it changed nothing,

there is YOU, there is ME... but there is really no "US"...

16.08.11

01:05 am